Walking in the Shadows

I've been praying for pain, I know it sounds crazy, but I've been in pain a while now and still haven't been able to walk through the pain with joy. So, I've been praying for it, praying for it to continue while those who love me pray for it to cease. Don't get me wrong, I want to feel relief, I want to be able to run with my kids, clean my house, kneel in prayer, and weed my garden without having to take a pain pill, truly I do. But more than that I want joy! Real, true, joy. I am a happy person, the Lord has given me so much, I have more to be thankful for then I have to lament. I also have joy, true joy, until the pain comes. Then something happens, it's like I can't control the way I am feeling and just lash out and find myself walking around in a pile of self pity. That is NOT joy. I have written in the past about my weakness and HIS strength, but it is a lesson hard learned and I believe joy goes right along with resting in HIS strength. I have ...