January 21, 2018 Journal Entry:
"I want to really learn
how to walk in the path the Lord lies before me, even if it is an uncomfortable
path."
I wrote the above statement in
my journal after my first bout with dizziness. I woke up one Friday a little
dizzy and nauseous and by Saturday morning I could only sit in the chair and
keep my eyes closed. I couldn't read, watch TV, look around or even eat much.
It was like a constant roller coaster! I survived the weekend and knew I needed to call a doctor.
Dizziness like that was not normal.
I made an appointment with my
primary care physician and was told I most likely had Meniere’s
disease. I had all the symptoms, and was familiar with the disease as I watched my Dad lose much of his hearing due to the disease. The primary care
physician referred me to an ENT and so I went home with new medicine and a
promise of a call from the ENT soon.
It wasn't long before I had
another dizzy spell and began to think all sorts of dark thoughts about what
could be wrong with me. The mind is a dangerous place when left unattended and open to imaginations. It was a long two weeks before I finally made it to the
ENT.
The ENT Doctor was an answer to prayer. He tested my hearing which was good, then did a thorough exam and medical history work up. By the end of the visit he was pretty sure I did
NOT have Meniere’s disease. I knew in my gut he was right, Meniere's was not what I was dealing with. The next step would be an MRI of the brain. Again,
the dark thoughts resurface and I picture myself not being around to raise my
children. Oh the time we waste worrying over what our imagination creates!
A few days later, the MRI was
scheduled for February 8. My 39th birthday.
Hope - a desire of some good, accompanied with at least a slight expectation of obtaining it, or a belief that it is obtainable. Hope differs from wish and desire in this, that it implies some expectation of obtaining the good desired or the possibility of possessing it.
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