Walking in the Shadows

"Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward." C.S. Lewis  It was a rare Thursday with all three of the kids home, the first since my oldest started college in August. It felt normal, nothing out of the ordinary, just my three children at home where they belonged. They sat at the table together, argued with one another and did a whole host of ordinary things. But for me, for this Momma's heart, it was an extraordinary day. A day where life felt "normal" after many not so normal days.  Isn't that life though? A lot of normal days that one day become extraordinary because they are no more. Homeschooling my three was normal for so many years until one day it wasn't. We just took a trip to the Apple Orchard that made me feel so nostalgic. Why did an ordinary trip to the Apple Orchard make me feel nostalgic? Because I missed what used to be. I missed me and my three kiddos taki...

"There is no telling how much power God can put into man. When divine strength comes, human weakness is no more a hindrance." Charles H Spurgeon  I felt it coming for days. What started as an increase in pain culminated into what I call a Chiari Storm (someone who shares Chiari referred to her flare ups as a Chiari Storm and I have used the terminology since).  It just so happened this particular Chiari Storm coincided with an actual storm, a busy hurricane season has made the weather a real issue with my symptoms. Some say that changes in the barometric pressure bring with it increased pain. I don't know the science behind all of that but can say it has proved true in my journey with Chiari. Conquer Chiari explains it like this "As the barometric pressure lowers, tissues in the body may enlarge. As the tissues enlarge, they put more weight on nerves that control pain signals."  This particular storm came on the heels of Jason and I celebrating our 21st wedding...

  Somehow it has been two years since I put my thoughts on this blog. Quite a few things have changed in the last couple of years, but that is true for all of us isn't it? 2020 has been one for the books. If you haven't personally experienced Covid-19 I am sure you know of someone who has. And even if you've avoided the actual virus, Covid has still altered your year and perhaps even your life. We too have experienced the effects of the virus both from a sickness view and daily life view (our year has been altered too). But I'm not writing today because of Covid-19. I'm writing because the nudge to write has been stirring in my heart for months. The nudge is no longer a nudge, it is more like a shove. When I began this blog it was to chronical how the Lord would take care of me and my little family when I walked away from public work. The Lord has absolutely done that. I now have a boy in college, one in high school and a girl in 5th grade. They are all well fed and...

*Photo was taken in Ghana, West Africa by Ethan Bond I began writing this blog when I stepped away from public work by faith, I wanted a place to document the Lord taking care of me and my family both financially and spiritually. I have tried to be honest about my struggles and victories, I have always wanted this place to be real. I even stopped writing when the words stopped coming. And the Lord has been faithful, even when I have wandered and doubted, he has been faithful. He is faithful to always give us what we need . And sometimes, we all need a little rest. Recently, I was struggling physically and forced to "rest." My body just wouldn't cooperate with the millions of things that needed to be done. So, I rested.  The forced rest made me think, what does rest look like? Maybe it looks different for everyone, but one common thread seems to be the feeling that comes with rest. Kind of like a deep breath and exhale, rest is like one big exhale. Some would pi...

Ah, sweet summer time! It is one of my favorite times of year. I love the lack of schedule, but just for a little while. Once August comes around I'm ready to get back to our routine. I do, however, use summer as a time for unschooling. I incorporate activities where the kids can learn without knowing their doing so. We love the app Epic (a teacher friend recommended this one), it is a great reading tool. We also take full advantage of the public library and all the fun things they do during summer. But reading is where it's at, I can not  say enough about the importance of getting our kiddos to read. As a parent, if we can instill a love for reading in our children they will be life-long learners. Here's a little glimpse at what we've been reading this summer. Our family reads a biography every night before our Bible reading. We have finished a biography on Rachel Saint and are currently reading one about Charles Mulli (he is a modern day George Mueller, this one...

Journal Entry March 15, 2018 "I was feeling pretty down and discouraged tonight. Kind of like everyone is living their lives without me and seem to be okay with that. But God." In the middle of our waiting on results from the doctor, my little Addison turned 8 and Ethan got his driver's license. The timing of his license was perfect, because by this time I wasn't able to drive him to work or really anywhere. He began to step in and really help me with the day to day tasks. A few days later my sweet church family began a meal train that was truly a life saver for us. Around the middle of March my vision started blurring and it became more of a challenge to write or read for any length of time. I was working hard to get the kids through school each day and do my computer work. However, on Friday March 23, we got great news!! There was no basilar invagination found on my CT scan and the doctor would discuss surgery the following week. "Surgery is sched...

Journal Entry from February 23, 2018  "It has been 2 weeks of daily dizziness. Last night for a few minutes I forgot I was sick. I think it was the first time I was able to do that." If I didn't know better, I would have said the MRI triggered a whole host of symptoms. By February 18th, I was losing whole days due to headaches, dizziness and neck pain. I was trying to make the most of a good day, because for every good day I seemed to have three bad ones. I received an email from the neurosurgeons office and my consultation was scheduled for March 13. It was the LONGEST month of my life. Each week seemed to bring new symptoms and escalation of current ones. February 20th was the first day I experienced tingling in my hand that lasted until surgery on April 13. During these days of suffering, we saw much of the Lord's kindness. Jason and I both were unsure of what Chiari Malformation was really like and the Lord allowed Jason to cross paths with someone who...