Walking in the Shadows

  Somehow it has been two years since I put my thoughts on this blog. Quite a few things have changed in the last couple of years, but that is true for all of us isn't it? 2020 has been one for the books. If you haven't personally experienced Covid-19 I am sure you know of someone who has. And even if you've avoided the actual virus, Covid has still altered your year and perhaps even your life. We too have experienced the effects of the virus both from a sickness view and daily life view (our year has been altered too). But I'm not writing today because of Covid-19. I'm writing because the nudge to write has been stirring in my heart for months. The nudge is no longer a nudge, it is more like a shove. When I began this blog it was to chronical how the Lord would take care of me and my little family when I walked away from public work. The Lord has absolutely done that. I now have a boy in college, one in high school and a girl in 5th grade. They are all well fed and...

Journal Entry from February 23, 2018  "It has been 2 weeks of daily dizziness. Last night for a few minutes I forgot I was sick. I think it was the first time I was able to do that." If I didn't know better, I would have said the MRI triggered a whole host of symptoms. By February 18th, I was losing whole days due to headaches, dizziness and neck pain. I was trying to make the most of a good day, because for every good day I seemed to have three bad ones. I received an email from the neurosurgeons office and my consultation was scheduled for March 13. It was the LONGEST month of my life. Each week seemed to bring new symptoms and escalation of current ones. February 20th was the first day I experienced tingling in my hand that lasted until surgery on April 13. During these days of suffering, we saw much of the Lord's kindness. Jason and I both were unsure of what Chiari Malformation was really like and the Lord allowed Jason to cross paths with someone who...

February 7, 2018 Journal Entry "Emotions are a troubling thing sometimes. They can change with the wind and cause spirits to be low. I sensed a change in my emotions last night and awake this morning with a sense of foreboding" The day before my birthday and MRI marked 2 years since my Papa Howard went home to be with the Lord. I thought of him much that day. How had 2 years passed so fast? Perhaps that is why I woke with a sense of foreboding, I don't know.  I've heard people say they know when something is wrong, and have often wondered at the authenticity of that, until now. Jason met me at the imaging center, I felt I needed his confidence. The MRI test itself wasn't frightening, it's loud and cramped but not fearful for me. But something was amiss in my spirit and I needed Jason's strong presence with me.  An hour and a half later I was through and relieved, yet still had the nagging feeling something was off. The technician indicated I w...