Walking in the Shadows

*I’ve been trying to write this post for a week, and I just can’t seem to get the words out of my head and onto the screen. There are times in our life when the feelings are just to raw to make them sound pretty or correct, there are times when you just have to get them out. That is my disclaimer for this post.   Can you go 10 whole days without praise? I think you can, I think I did. Can you be thankful but not praiseful? The week of surgery, I was prepared, at peace and even excited about it. The Lord had given me great peace and I truly had no fear. I thought what a great opportunity surgery would be for me to practice my praise. I finished Ann Voskamp’s One Thousand Gifts and was well on my way to recording my own personal One Thousand Gifts. I packed my little notebook along with my things for the hospital and was ready, like I was about to embark on a great adventure. Surgery went well, even with a little complication, and I was so happy to have the worse behind me

Last week I went for Pre-Op and my final visit with the doctor. Can you believe they want me at the hospital by 5:30 AM??? Me, with no coffee, has to leave my house at 5:00 AM to arrive to the hospital by 5:30 AM. Just pray for my hubby, as I am sure he'll need it. If you know me at all, I am not such a sweet person early in the morning, especially without my coffee. Now just two days from surgery and I am surprisingly calm. Well, it's not really surprising because I know many have already been praying for me. The Lord has helped me so much this week, that I am almost looking forward to surgery. I know that sounds crazy, but God is good and his peace comes just at the right time. As I read in Psalms this week, every verse on mercy or compassion seemed to jump off the page. How good God is to me, is beyond amazing! Psalm 81:10 " I am the Lord thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt; open thy mouth wide and I will fill it." Psalm 86:13 "Fo

I can't believe I didn't post this yesterday! This week has been beyond busy and I simply did not have the time to finish and post. Think about where you were on September 11, 2001 and think about where you are on September 11, 2013 and I don't mean physically. Where is our country today? Are we closer to the roots of our country or further away? *Conclusion of letter written shortly after 9/11/01 attack. September 11, 2001 You arose early your second morning at home, you surely didn't want to miss a thing. We were snuggling on the couch, I guess it was a little after 8:00 am (I had let your Daddy sleep in) when the call came. It was your Nana and she was calling to tell us there had been an accident, it seemed an airplane had somehow crashed into the World Trade Center. I hang up the phone as I turn on the TV and wonder how could the pilot have flown so far off course. As I am processing what I see, there comes another plane and it hits the second tower and I&

12 years ago today, around 8:30 am, my world was forever changed. I became a Mother at the ripe age of 22. What an exciting time, and how I felt we could take on the world, our little family. As I was thinking about writing a special birthday post to Ethan, I remembered a letter I wrote to him shortly after his birth and the September 11, 2001 terrorist attack.  Today, I am going to share a part of that letter and hope to share the rest on the anniversary of the 9/11/01 attack. I thought as I read the letter written 12 years ago, how I feared the changes ahead for my newborn son and wondered what his world would look like. Now, as I look at his world I cringe with what it has become and grow burdened for all three of my children as they face such uncertain times.  As Ethan embarks on a new phase in his life (ah adolescence), I am so very proud of the young man he is becoming and praise the Lord that he has already given him his heart. Ethan is my leader, the one I always tur

  Ah, my week has been crazy, busy and it is only Wednesday! I haven't even thought about blogging until today and usually I at least have thoughts bouncing around my head. Hence, the title "Busy Blog." I really am trying to be more consistent, but this week and the next few are going to test me to my limits! I'll be begging for surgery, just so I can rest, ha.   Monday, my sweet family came over and helped do a myriad of chores around the house for me. I'm very grateful for family and friends that love me! I'm sure I don't know why they do, but I'm very blessed.   Here is Miss Addison helping me pick out Mums at Lowes for my planter out front. You see the Umbrella she has shielding her from the sun?   Oh and we also have been working on our downstairs bathroom and by "we" I mean mostly Jason. I helped paint a little and picked out the shower curtain, but other than that it was him. What a good man I have! A lot has b

I just started reading One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp, and what a great read on thankfulness! I am learning I have a very long way to go. Are we really living a grateful life? Before beginning this book, I thought I was a grateful person but wow the conviction and how ungrateful I truly am. Lest you judge me to quickly, think about the last time you stopped and felt truly grateful for the small things? Like the squirrels scurrying in the trees, the big white puffy clouds, your children squabbling (thankful because you have children to squabble), running late for work (never know what God protected you from) and on the list goes. It's amazing how the Lord is using this book to help me stop and see the blessings in every day. It's shocking to see how quickly I complain and how little I thank!! So, for this week, I am thankful for: 1. 14 years of holy matrimony 2. 3 Little Blessings as a result of that holy matrimony 3. A week with little pain 4. Sweet S

I decided to blog yesterday about our first day of the new school year and show adorable pictures of the kids hard at work. I mean just log on to any social media site and you will see adorable pictures of all your “friends” kids and their first day of school, right? But, even the best of plans are foiled!! We started school Tuesday, and the day went great! We always get excited at the start of a new year, one of the boys said “it’s like getting to start perfect.” Isn’t that true? Getting a clean slate is a blessing for all of us I think.   This year I have a 3 rd and 6 th grader plus lil missy starting K3 (it’s mostly to keep her busy and get her used to sitting still). Every year we get the questions on our choice of homeschool and I feel as though I must defend our choice once again. But, the Lord showed me something recently during one of my Pastor’s messages; this homeschool thing is what God has called me to do. So, when the clean slate has been smudged and t

While all the kiddos are getting ready to go Back to School, I thought what better time for me to get  Back to Blogging! Oh how I have missed the blogging, but honestly this summer has been the busiest I can ever remember. I just haven’t had very much computer time! So, I thought I would do a little blog with photos to let you know what we have been up to this summer. This is me and my hubby at a friends’ wedding. What a beautiful wedding, I had never been to a wedding in a castle before and it was lovely! Me and the kids at Mammoth Cave National Park. We spent our vacation in Kentucky this year, what a peaceful area. We traveled through Amish areas while we were in Kentucky, and oh how I LOVE their simple outlook on life. I know what you’re thinking, but I don’t care, I honestly think I could live without the conveniences of the modern world if I could look out my front door every morning at this. Anyway, that is a very short snap shot of

It has been a while since my last post, I just haven’t had the umph needed to write. I have had plenty of things rattle around in my head to write about, but I just haven’t sat down and started typing. So, here we go today, I am sitting down, typing… I hesitate to write about pain, for many reasons but I keep coming back to it so I think it is something I need to write about. There are so many levels and types of pain, it is a challenge to write about ones experience without fully understanding another’s. I have recently been diagnosed with Adenomyosis and finally have a diagnosis for pain I have been experiencing for three years. Fortunately the pain has been manageable with just the last year being the most intense. Chronic pain differs from acute pain (in my experience) because chronic pain is nagging where as if you have acute kidney stone pain, there is no managing that, you just take the pain meds or get to the hospital as quickly as possible. So, here I am

You know the Mom I’m talking about, the one who is always smiling and seemingly never frustrated with her sweet little charges. The one who makes special crafts EVERY holiday and can teach her children fractions and diagramming without ever reading the instructions in the teacher manual. Oh I admire this mom, but I can assure you “I am not that Mom.” Yes, I homeschool my children, bake bread, garden, and do laundry on a daily basis, but “I am not that Mom” who does is flawlessly. Just ask my children! So, why do I homeschool my children? Ah, that is a question I have needed to write about for some time but have been apprehensive for many reasons. My decision to homeschool is just that, my decision (mine and hubby’s). It is not my desire to defend my decision or sway others to agree with me, it is simply a admission of a very average Mom doing what God has called her to do. There are many reasons to homeschool, I could list a zillion (well maybe not a zillion but close). Wh

(If we could only trust our Father the way children trust theirs) I know we are to walk by faith and not sight, but there are times in our journey when it seems we are truly walking blindly. You know how it is, when you are “feeling” your way around a dark room or you are walking down stairs in the dark and are slowly and carefully putting one foot in front of the other. You want to make sure that when you put your foot down that it has a landing or something solid to hold it. Sometimes, in our lives we are called to walk by faith like that, blindly putting one foot in front of the other not knowing for sure where we will be landing. Last year, we (my family) stepped out on faith and I quit my job in the work force. That was certainly a HUGE step of faith but I could see a little bit ahead of me. Don’t misunderstand, I couldn’t see how God was going to provide for us without my income and I couldn’t see around the bend but I could at least see the road ahead. It was a ste

So, I did it! I unplugged Friday at 5 pm and didn't check email, fb, surf the internet, watch TV or read the news until Monday morning. I didn't even read any books because the only books I had were on my Kindle and I wasn't sure if that would be breaking the rules. :-) Next time, I will make a point to hit the library because when the kids were watching TV Saturday evening it was hard for me to find something to occupy myself with (you know, trying to unwind at the end of a busy day).  What did I learn?? Facebook really is optional and surfing the internet is a BIG time waster. Well, I don't think I really learned that, I think I already knew it, I just confirmed it by living it. I did not NEED to know what everyone of my fb friends were doing on Saturday night, I slept just fine not knowing.  What did I "take away" from the experience? My need to really limit my internet time. I love to read blogs and check the news out, not to mention research (I lo

Today’s post is a bit of a confession and a challenge, I hope you are up for it. J First, the confession… I have the winter blues, I mean a really nasty case of the blahs. I just haven’t had that spring in my step lately, ya know? As I look around it seems all I am seeing is the yuckiness if you know what I mean. I am tired of the complacency of people, I am scared of the direction the country is taking, I am beyond sick of sin and the devil and some days I feel like an utter failure in the wife and mother department. So, now that you have the confession, here comes the challenge. Well, it comes next, now I want to pose a question for you. Why do we get the blues? The blahs? The I don’t cares? Why do we get so down and defeated? I believe it is the world! Perhaps it is our love of the world, or it is the fact that we live in it, either way, it is the world and the sin curse that’s upon it.                  Mark 4:19                 “And the cares of this world, and

It’s a cold, icy day here in Travelers Rest and my two boys are outside enjoying the ice as it gathers on the trampoline. As I sat and watched them play I thought “am I crazy for letting them play in this ice” then I thought maybe just letting them be was just what they needed. They are bundled up and won’t catch cold any more than they would if it were snowing, so why I allow myself the Mom guilt for being unorthodox I don’t know. Just as our home is full of noise and laughter it is full of hopes and dreams. As a Mother, it is my heart’s desire to see my children reach high with their dreams and I hope to instill in them that with God anything is possible. Today it may be playing in the ice when others think we are a little crazy, tomorrow it may mean my son believing he can be a missionary in a foreign land. You see, as much as I love my children at this stage in life, I am not raising them to be children; I am raising them to be men and women to serve the Lord. Ever

(I'm using an old pic today because I couldn't get a new one to upload~ugh computers)  As I sit and write this post I feel on the verge of screaming, crying and pulling out my hair.Yesterday was our first day back to school and our first day getting back on the potty training schedule. And everything went soooo smooth! The boys studied so hard and didn't complain even once. Addison went potty at least 5 times and actually seemed happy about it. I even baked homemade Pita Bread for lunch. Yesterday I felt like Super Mom!! Then I woke up today... It is early afternoon and my little one is napping and the boys are just finishing up school. And I just want to cry! Why? Well, let's just say today was not quite as smooth and I wasn't quite the Super Mom I felt like yesterday. School was a bit more stressful, more tests, more lessons in diagraming (so glad I'm not in 5th grade), more potty accidents, more papers lost, more messes made and so forth. Really, j